Some days are just better than others

And yesterday was one of those days compared to today. It's like a big game of hit or miss and we're at 50% for getting on the bus nicely. I have some more research to do today in hopes of helping find the right things for me to do to enable Gabby to have the tools she needs to get on the bus nicely each & every day. I'm currently checking out a site called shakeyourshyness. I have to read and re-read the portion on Parenting a shy child. I know I can be kinda shy and sit back & just observe and sometimes watch fun things pass me by. And sometimes there is just something inside of me that says, look, ya missed out on X, Y, and Z last time and you were bummed, get over it & go do something about it even if you don't feel like doing it. So I kinda have an idea of how she's feeling but I think it is even more debilitating at times in her case. And that's not ok with me. Not because I think that there is something wrong with her but more of the case where I don't want her to have regrets for not getting to do something b/c she was too shy. I know this is who she is and don't want to change her completely (there is a little voice inside that says, if she's too shy to try some new things, perhaps she'll leave the not so good stuff like, drugs, alcohol, etc alone). But then there is another voice that says, if you don't teach her & provide the tools she needs, how will she be confident to say no to the things that she shouldn't try. So I guess it is a balancing act that I am trying to discover what is too much, what is too little & where we'll all be happy somewhere in between. Of course Adam is helping on this front but since he's not the one home nearly as much as I am, plans & strategies are left up to me to execute. I feel like sort of a strategist as well as a scientist but this is definitely something I don't want to "blow up" in my face.

On the other hand, Braly is asking me if he gets to start school yet. He goes to the bus stop each morning with us and then waits with anticipation for Gabby to get home. He keeps begging for his turn to go to school. It's not that he doesn't love being home (just like it isn't that Gabby hates being at school) it's just that these kids are different & crave different stimuli to keep them going. Hopefully Gabby will come home today & say it was a fantastic day like yesterday was for her, despite the rip her out of my hands at the bus stop we had today. Perhaps a video of what she looks like could put things into perspective. I may have to borrow Braly's expertise in holding a camera or I may have to borrow a video camera with tripod to see what we can see. Hmm....some ideas are coming to me as I share my thoughts. Thanks for letting me unwind and think.

I am soooooooooo over-tired right now its unbelievable. Natalie usually comes to stay Thursday nights with us so she can save a little $$ on gas & spend some time with us. Well, we almost always stay up late and last night was just one of those nights, except this time Morgan woke up around 4 am & wouldn't go back to sleep until almost 6 am & I have a hard time sleeping when I can hear my kids awake. Definitely a mom thing. Needless to say, Gabby isn't the only one tired today. I don't think I mentioned lately that we think she may have sleep apnea due to her enlarged tonsils and we see the ENT on Tuesday & think that he'll recommend her having her tonsils out. I'm praying that will help solve her being tired despite sleeping between 11 and 12 hours most nights.

I'm off to check on Braly & have him help me load the dishwasher now that its fixed. I love getting kitchen help. A built in dishwasher would be my dream come true but for now I'll settle with our portable one being fixed. Can't win them all eh?